About a month ago, I was running through the woods of Jenny Wiley State Park, enjoying the scenery while watching out for snakes on the path and batting spider webs and gnats out of my face every few steps. At the same time, I was distractedly mulling over whatever thoughts came into my head, and I found myself thinking about my CAP time. I arrived at CAP on September 3rd, 2010, all fired up to become an Elderly Services caseworker. I find it hard to believe sometimes, but that was almost a year ago. And one thought that really hit me that day on the trail was that even though the time has flown by, it has changed me more than I ever expected. The September-2nd-2010 me would not be on a hiking trail by herself, battling the July heat and humidity of her own accord. I would certainly not be enjoying it. When I really stopped to think about it, I realized how much I have grown during my year in Kentucky. I’ve learned new skills, experienced new things, and gained a good amount of understanding that I didn’t have before.
I started making a mental list of these Kentucky lessons and “firsts.” Some of them are less significant than others. For example, I went on my first truly rustic camping trip while I was here: no restrooms, no running water, no modern conveniences. I learned to like hot sauce from my housemates here at Floyd House. I started running more seriously than I ever had before because the closest gym is 20 miles away. And there are a million other little things I could think of here. But the most important thing I’ve learned is how to connect with people who seem very different from me; and not only deal with the differences, but embrace them and find a common bond. My elderly participants have taught me so much in this area. At first, I found my position as a caseworker a bit awkward. I was giving, giving, giving to people who had plenty of need, but also plenty of pride. How was this supposed to work out? But the more I developed relationships with the people as individuals, the less I saw it less as a one-sided transaction. The age and culture differences didn’t seem so big anymore. Little by little, the walls broke down and I developed more reciprocal relationships—rather, friendships—with my participants. For example, I stopped trying to change the conversation when one lady, Edna, would ask me about my family and my life at CAP. I realized it was okay to let her offer me advice and support. In fact, it helped me understand her and her family better.
Another participant, Clarence, has cerebral palsy. He is in a wheelchair, and I often have difficulty understanding him. Clarence and I got along pretty well from the beginning, but I had to work hard to earn his trust. One of my most memorable and special moments at CAP occurred a few months ago while I was painting Clarence’s kitchen. We had been having a great day, listening to old-time country music and trying to identify the singers for each song (Clarence knows almost all of them). Out of the blue, he told me, “I’m proud to call you my friend.” This really touched me, and I love the fact that I could honestly say the same back to him! He and so many others I have met in Kentucky have taught me so much. My service here truly has been full of unexpected lessons. And I’m not done yet! I’m here until January, and I can’t wait for the new experiences I still have to enjoy in Kentucky.
Jane is a long-term volunteer in Elderly Services. She lives in Floyd Volunteer House.
