I volunteer at Camp Andrew Jackson (Camp AJ), which isn’t the usual spot for guys at CAP. Usually all the "manly" men choose to spend their year of service building things like houses and community centers or lugging around large containers of food to fight hunger and malnourishment and such. I considered serving in those areas, but camp was simply a better fit for me. I had just graduated from college with a Bachelor’s Degree in History, and my next step was attending seminary. I really wanted to do something that would make me reek of stereotypical "manliness" every day, but I sadly realized that God had pointed me in what I mistakenly thought was the direction of male mediocrity: teaching.
Tim being manly at a CAP Disaster Relief response
So I joined Camp AJ, where I would teach and tutor in schools, chaperone a nonprofit community basketball gym, and then be a full-time camp counselor in the summer—which I was excited about, don’t get me wrong, but I also didn’t think it was quite as cool and awesome and hip as sweating all day from lifting giant weights of processed cheese and hitting things with hammers and stabbing things with nails. On top of that, I was living in a volunteer house with eight girls and no guys. So I hid my man card in a safe place, grew a beard, puffed my chest out, and left North Dakota for Appalachian Kentucky to do God’s will, prepared for a testosterone-draining experience.
I was dead wrong.
One of the first things my coworkers told me when I came to Camp AJ was that, as a guy, I was a rare find. I had already guessed as much, seeing how all the female volunteers in my house were so perplexed by my impending arrival that before I came they held the legendary “Testosterone Tuesday.” This was the day they wore fake mustaches, watched football, and spit every few minutes in order to make themselves more sympathetic toward my masculinity.
Volunteer positions in general, it seemed, were lacking in men, but Camp AJ was especially grateful to have a guy in the schools. I was like, “Okay, cool, I’m filling a need.” But when we went to the schools to meet the teachers, they started telling me how good it was for a guy to be here, and I just kept hearing it from person after person until I could barely hold my swelled head off the ground. “I’m needed because I’m a man!” I realized. And that was the beginning of my man card being displayed proudly at the end of each psychologically draining day of hanging out with and teaching kids and youth.
The reason my maleness is so valuable with this young demographic, I have come to realize, is that there is not an abundance of positive male role models in their lives. Many kids are raised by their grandparents since their parents are incapable of caring for them because of hard times or drugs or they themselves were never taught how to be responsible parents. CAP works in many areas of Appalachia to change the cycle of poverty. As a Camp AJ volunteer, I am fighting in the frontlines by working with children and youth. They are the next generation of Appalachians, and if we can get them to think critically about their future, we are one step closer to a stronger Appalachia.
The way I have influenced this next generation is through a combination of teaching and relationships. As it turns out, children and youth are not the most forward-thinking of beings, and I have experienced some kids needing to be told certain things that many people would be shocked at. For instance: “Chewing tobacco when you are ten years old sets you up for a life of addiction and cancer.” Or, in the case of some high schoolers: “When you get a bloody nose from playing basketball, please refrain from playing said game and handling said ball until your blood-soaked paper towels are out of your hand and until you have washed your hands thoroughly lest you infect nine other players with bloodborne pathogens and possibly lead to a zombie outbreak reminiscent of 28 Days Later.” And of course: “Going to school only when you feel like it is a surefire way to get bad grades, not get a job, and more than likely go to hell.” Okay, I didn’t say that last part, but when the high school is termed a “dropout factory” because less than 60% of the students graduate, the kids should have a little fear of God put in them.
Tim fighting the zombie resistance
Wise teachings are fine and dandy, but they are not effective coming from an authority figure who simply says awesome things over and over; they need to be taught from a trusted individual, which is what I have tried to make myself in my time at CAP. In all honesty, it’s not too hard to be trusted when it comes to elementary school kids. If you so much as look at them and smile, they will come over to you, hug you, tell you their life story and then beg you to play basketball.
I came to love some particular elementary school boys who I played basketball with at an after-school function. If I spoke Appalachian, I would say, “God bless ‘em,” which, when translated, means, “God, please help me from striking them down in my righteous anger.” Arguments and physical disputes between the boys abounded for a variety of reasons, and I tried my best to calmly explain their wrongdoing and suggested they slow down. They would get mad at each other and mad at me and sometimes storm off in a huff, but no matter what they would always be back the next day begging me to play ball with them. After a few weeks, ball games started going a little more smoothly, but whether that was because the boys started acting more maturely or my mind has blocked out any further trauma, I do not know. What I do know is that every Monday I walked into the school, the boys literally attacked me with hugs, screaming like banshees. If that’s not some sort of mature love flowing out of their relationship with a mature role model, I don’t know what is.
Girls are in just as much need of a male role model. The teen pregnancy rate in Appalachian Kentucky is higher than the national average for a variety of reasons. Girls need to know from an early age that real men value them as something more than just their next girlfriend; they value them for who they are and want them to succeed in school and life. I sincerely hope my interactions with the elementary school girls teach them this.
I have had many more interactions with middle and high school guys than girls, but at a teen retreat we hosted at Camp AJ, I had a great experience with a girl who usually had a negative attitude and was not always interested in hanging out with others. She was playing a song on the piano by My Chemical Romance, a band usually termed as “emo” and probably not very popular in this area. I enjoy the song and told her so, and after getting over the shock that a male Christian leader liked an emo song, she literally gave me the biggest hug I have ever received. She then proceeded to make me her best friend for the rest of the evening. Seriously. It was like someone had snapped their fingers and I was suddenly awesome. I hope that by giving her the attention she as a human being deserved, she will understand her value and what kind of guys and opinions she herself should value.
By far the best experience I have had yet as a volunteer, though, has been leading a male Bible study on Tuesday nights. Four days after I arrived in Kentucky, I decided to try out a local church. They immediately pounced on me and asked me to help out at a church function on Tuesday nights at one of the subsidized housing complexes in town. I was shocked that they would ask me to help out at something when they didn’t even know me, but, again, they value young male role models.
So I went, and they ended up needing someone to start an adult male Bible study. I was daunted—I usually worked with kids, plus I was only 22! These guys were going to be older than me! But that was where they had need, so I dived in. I have never been so blessed to be a part of a group of guys in my life. Almost all of them have troubled pasts, difficulty finding work, difficulty reading, and are unfamiliar with the Bible—complete opposites of me. I didn’t know where to start, so we simply decided to go through the Gospel of Matthew and learn about the life of Jesus—the real Man. We also focused on praying for each other, and our time together has become incredibly meaningful as we openly discuss our manly successes and our manly struggles and our manly faith in the hope of becoming the men Jesus wants us to be, just as he showed his twelve disciples during their time with him.
I have been fortunate to be a part of this organization for the past nine months, and I have come to realize how great volunteering for CAP is not only for my own life but also for the lives of others. God has used me, and he has emblazoned my man card with gold and set it up on a radiant mantle, because I know at the end of the day I have been used to influence someone’s life. What is more, however, God has used all of them to change my life. Appalachia needs me, and I am proud to support it, but I have never felt so complete as I have serving here in Kentucky. There are many struggles in Appalachian life, but there are many triumphs, as well. Family is second only to God here, and when you come in and humbly ask to help someone, they will either turn you away or love you like family. I have been fortunate to experience much of the latter, and because of that, Appalachia has helped me to become a real man.
Tim H. serves in Educational and Recreational Programming. He is a member of the Jackson Volunteer Community.
