Service as an Act of Surrender

Last night for community devotion we watched a movie called The Staircase. The film is a beautiful telling of a staircase mysteriously built in the Loretto chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The chapel was established by Catholic nuns in 1878, however in an oversight the builders forgot to include a staircase to the choir loft. Headmaster Mother Madeline's dying wish was to see the staircase completed. The situation appears hopeless until a stranger named Jode (played by William Peterson) offered to build the staircase free of charge.

This was my first viewing of the documentary and I was glued to the TV for its’ entirety, but one scene in particular hit me like a ton of bricks. At the start of the scene Jode informed Mother Madeline that the wood he was using to build the spiral staircase was not going to work. The dramatic dialog between the two characters followed:

"God wanted me to finish the staircase. It’s such a simple thing to do." (Mother Madeline)

"Mother Madeline the staircase is not that important." (Jode)

"There must be music in the chapel. God wishes it."

"No, you wish it.”

"It’s not for me. It’s my service to God. It’s for Him"

"Madeline, you cannot proclaim the nature of your service. [Saying] this is what I will do and this is how, and when, and why I will do it. Are you trying to match your will against God’s?"

Wow! What a statement of truth so appropriately timed for me. Approaching the midterm of my second year with Christian Appalachian Project, I have begun to contemplate what will come next in my life. For the past year, even the thought of leaving CAP and Eastern Kentucky sent a surge of grief and panic through my body. I have fallen in love with this region, its people and become so accustomed to life as a CAP volunteer. The Jackson volunteer house has become my home in the deepest sense of the word.

I know that being comfortable with your place in life is not always a good thing. God calls his disciples to step out of the boat and walk on the turbulent water. The scene from this movie showed me that by closing my mind to future opportunities outside of Eastern Kentucky, as I had been, I am telling God what I will do for Him. That is not service. No faithful servant would talk to their master in such a way, rather the servant listens and obeys their master’s orders whatever they may be. I am committed to living a life of service and complete surrender to God. Fortunately for me the past year and a half, life at CAP has been beautiful and everything I hoped for it to be. For this I am very grateful, but I mustn’t expect or request it to always be so. 

Debbie is a 2nd year volunteer serving as an Elderly Services Caseworker and living in the Jackson Volunteer Community. Opinions expressed in volunteer blogs are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of CAP or the Volunteer Program.