Last week at church my pastor titled his message "Seeing the Big Picture”. He talked about how our perspective is so narrow that all we see are a few jigsaw puzzle pieces, yet we think that's all there is to the picture.
I am really bad at puzzles, so I completely understood his analogy. I will try adamantly to force two pieces together that do not belong anywhere near each other. Then I get so frustrated that the puzzle is not working out the way that I think it should.
This was a very timely message for me. I had just returned to CAP after a two week leave between my first and second service years. On my way to Jackson county I was happy to be returning and thought I had a pretty good idea of what the year, or at least the weeks ahead, would look like. Instead there was nothing but surprises from the moment I stepped back into the volunteer house.
I was first made aware of multiple changes to the members of my volunteer community that no one originally expected. Initially I was very disappointed by this news and after the initial shock wore off my old feelings of personal inadequacy began to creep back in. Just as I was rebounding, I got hit with more challenging news: my student loans are double what I thought they were and payments are way past due. Shortly after receiving this news my sister called frantic that her plans to go back to college and complete her degree were not going to work out.
In the midst of all these unexpected things you would think after hearing the pastor’s message I would have realized that the Lord was trying to tell me something, but I honestly didn’t think about it much. Then the Lord, being the patient God he is, tried another way to relay the message.
A few days into the following week I visited with a participant that has Dementia(the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease). She had come across a bag with a jigsaw puzzle in it and started working on it. We sat down and tried to work together on it. She did not have the box to show the final product and after I did some figuring I realized she did not have all the pieces either. To make matters even more challenging my participant was confused about the logistics of the puzzle and was having a hard time focusing. Needless to say we did not make much progress on the puzzle that day. Nevertheless, we had a good time and were both grateful for the opportunity to spend time together.
Coming to CAP initially was a big leap of faith for me. I had been so focused on my college studies and plans for my future that for the longest time I failed to recognize that I had no passion for the goals I was pursuing. Then I was led to CAP. At first I was nervous about coming, but then I heard God say “Do you trust me?” and I was at peace. Now a year later, and no more certain of what my future will look like, God is reminding me to trust him. I have no idea what is in store for me this year or the years following, but God knows. He designed the big picture and knows exactly where I fit into it, so I can stop trying to force the pieces together.
Thank God for that because I really hate doing puzzles.
Debbie is a 2nd year volunteer serving as an Elderly Services Caseworker and living in the Jackson Volunteer Community. Opinions expressed in volunteer blogs are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of CAP or the Volunteer Program.
