“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within” (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross).
There were a myriad of factors that led to my coming to Christian Appalachian Project. Just like a stained-glass window is made of an assortment of colored glass fragments, so were the pieces of my story that lead up to me choosing CAP. As the quotation suggests, the important part is the light from within, therefore: what did God want me to do? The exact question I had been pondering my whole college experience. What should I do with my life? It turns out I had been asking too broad of a question, God simply told me to trust Him and soon enough He would let me know what I would do in my first, post-college year.
But in my chaotic, impatient human mind, I had to know it all right away. I worried about where I would be, what I would be doing, if I would like it, if I would have friends, and if I would make enough money to travel. Amidst this disarray of playing God, I realized that college didn’t really prepare me for the “real world”. I spent all of my growing up and school years preparing for college. College taught me what I chose to learn, but it didn’t prepare me for finding a job or even knowing what kind of job to find.
On the surface level, college seemed like a waste of time for me [though deep down I knew that it was beneficial to be well-educated]. I questioned why I should memorize random facts about who knows what, when truly, many of them would disintegrate after the final exam. Why must I study Freudian and Jungian theories when I could be serving the homeless or befriending the lonely? Those questions nearly suffocated me as I persevered through the nonsensical busy work and dreadful group projects.
In high school we had this event called “Imagine It Day”. On this day we would dress up professionally, and be interviewed by people in the professions we aspired to be in. I chose Photographer and Veterinarian. Neither of these professions did I study in college, but interestingly enough both have become valuable assets at CAP. I work in the Elderly Services program in Jackson County. Many of my participants have dogs or cats. One participant in particular, has a dog that is quite ill. She is so sickly that she receives an IV treatment 3 times per week. My participant’s son would usually do the treatment, but during his business trip to China, someone else needed to take over - thus I offered. Veterinarian - check. My passion for photography serves my participants as well. As they are low-income, many don’t have a camera, or many pictures of themselves. They enjoy when I ask to take their photograph and are delighted by the hard copies they receive shortly after. Photographer - check.
My first job in high school was working at a movie theatre. I loved this job, or at least the benefits of this job. Employees received discounted popcorn and pop, and were able to view movies for free. Movies are one of my favorite entertainment experiences. In those two hours that lapsed during a film, I could escape to other worlds that I wouldn’t normally adventure to. I could travel for free and learn about people from many different cultures. Unfortunately, post-movie depression hit and I had to return to my plain-jane life. Working at a movie theatre taught me one thing for sure: I wanted to travel. I wanted to experience the world in person.
Not only did I want to travel, but I wanted to live in a culture long enough that I adopt their traditions and become a member. I wanted to leave the below-zero temperatures of northern Minnesota and live a little. During the junior year of my college experience, I studied in London for a semester. It’d be an understatement to say it was the best time of my life. While I enjoyed my orientation week as a tourist, seeing all the sights and taking all the cliché pictures, deep down I was yearning to become one of them. I wanted to know their culture so well that I wouldn’t stick out as a silly American tourist. I thrived on the moments when people would ask me directions proving to myself that I knew the city well enough to direct others around; knowing that they thought I belonged.
The summer after I graduated high school, I went on two mission trips. One to Honduras with my pastor and a small group of adults, and the other to Beattyville, Kentucky, with my church’s youth group. Mission trips combined my yearning to travel with my passion to help people. Though I may not have become a part of the culture during these trips, I learned the difference between economic poverty and poverty of the Spirit. Both struck at my heart-strings. With this in mind, when I heard about CAP from a friend I decided to give it a chance.
I knew about CAP for approximately two months before even looking at the application and I kept the application in my possession for nearly four months before finishing it and sending it in. Though I searched for jobs that would actually pay me a livable wage, nothing seemed as worthwhile as spending a year volunteering and serving low-income individuals. The benefits of money is nothing compared to helping out those less fortunate than I.
Now that I’m here, I can’t picture myself anywhere else. I have never been this blessed in my life. No, I’m not making my millions, but I have a nice house to live in with everything I could possibly need provided for me: bedding, food, and an amazing family of co-volunteers. I live in a community that challenges and prospers me both personally and spiritually. I serve a humble, gracious, and generous group of elderly who are not only helping me grow and become a stronger Christian, but are also introducing me to their culture, their history, and their life.
Of course there are some difficult and exhausting days when I wish I lived on my own. Let’s be real, work can be rough especially in moments when the participants, for example, are demanding groceries from three different stores. Then again there are those unexpected times when I feel unqualified for my position, such as when a participant kindly asks me to take over her dog’s IV treatments. Finally, one can always depend on some tough times in a large community, namely when it’s nearly time to start cooking dinner and ingredients are missing because housemates either already used them or forgot to buy them. But for each of those difficult situations and then some, there are those moments when, post-work craziness, I am greeted by amazing hugs from housemates, bonding time on the couches, and late-night back-rubs -- In those moments, I know that I am exactly where God wants me to be. And in the grand scheme of my life, that’s all that really matters to me. As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggested, if the light is shining from within, then true beauty shines even in the darkness.
Sarah S. is a long-term volunteer in CAP's Elderly Services program. She is a member of the Jackson Volunteer Community.
